Holy Crap!
by DibCookie
Summary: I'm a horrible summary writer, but this is my first KND fic with chapters.I t's About 3 in an aranged marrage and 4's trying to stop it. Chapter 8 and 9 just in.
1. whats a prayer?

_**Holy Crap!**_

"I baptize you in the name of the father, in the name of the son, and of the holy spirit."

"Holy Crap!"

"Wally, get up. It's time to go to mass." 3 said pulling the covers off 4. "Ugh. It's 9:00." he said. "Yes, and mass is at 9:30!" "When did I agree to this?" 4 said. "It's the Catholic law Wally. Now lets get moving mister!" "Stop sounding like my mother than!" 4 said walking over to his dresser. "Whatever, just meet me at the door in 15 minutes kay?" 3 said walking out the door. "Sure, whatever."

"I was just baptized last week. Now I gotta wake up every Sunday really early and leave for mass. I thought Kuki said Sunday was the day of rest! I bet your wondering why I became catholic, right? Well, It was so I could marry Kuki. Her parents are only letting her marry holy people who believe in God. Not now, but when we come of age. Yep, Kooks is catholic."

"Wally! We're late!" "I know, I know, I'm comin!" 4 said running down the stairs. And the two walked to church.

4 yawned and sat in the pew. "I'm so tired. Why do we have to go to church now?" "Well why did you become catholic if you knew you'd have to go to mass?" 3 said kneeling. "I became catholic because... you don't need to know right now." 4 said and kneeled.

Music started and the priest walked up to the alter and said some stuff, but 4 wasn't paying attention of course. He just sat there yawning. "Let us pray." the priest said. 4's never heard that before. the rest of mass he was curious what that meant.

"Communion? What's that?" 4 asked. "It's body and blood." "What? Who wants to eat a body and drink some ones blood?" "Because it's from Our saviors body." "I hope you don't eat a foot." 4 said following 3 in the communion line. "Show some reverence, and fold your hands." 3 said. "What?" "Never mind."

After mass. on a balcony. Just 3 and 4."Eh, Kooks?" "yes?" "I was wondering what letting us pray meant." "Praying?" "Ya." "Well it's... when you... hmm... it's kinda like... a wish. You wish for something. And you ask God. And God answers it. You might not notice it, but he does." "God grants wishes?" "Most of them." "And God gets wishes from everyone in the world?" "Yep. And he answers every single one of them." "I'd get annoyed with all these people asking me to do stuff for 'em." "I bet. But God can do anything." "So that's how he does it." "Yep." "Do you have to go to mass to pray?" "Nope. You can pray anytime any where." "Oh. Excuse me then." 4 said and walked away into his room.

He shouted at the top of his lungs, "Hey God! I got a wish for ya!" He wanted to see if it would work, so he asked some thing small. "God, I wish for Kuki to be happy today!" 3 heard this, since he was so loud, and laughed. "Oh, And God, I also want her to be happy tomorrow too. And incase you don't know which kuki I'm talking about, it's Kuiki Sanban. You know K-u-k-i S-a-n-b-a-n" 4 yelled. "O.K. I'm back." 4 said walking back to the balcony. "My throat is a little sore now." he said. "I wonder why." 3 laughed.


	2. in da bag

_**Holy Crap! **_

_**Chapter 2**_

Where did we leave off? Oh yes. 3 and 4 were out on a balcony talking. Now we shall continue.

The phone rang. "I'll get it." 3 said. She ran and answered the phone. "Hello? Oh, Hi! Huh? What! But... okay. Okay. Sure, I'll be ready." 3 hung up the phone and clenched her fist walking over to 4. "Um, I have to leave now. I'll remember you." "Wait a minute. What's going on?" "I'm leaving. I'm going back to Japan for a while." "Why?" "Um, Well, I'm... getting married." "WHAT?" "It's a family tradition. We get married at 10. It's an arranged marriage." "What? No! I... No!" 4 said. 3 hugged 4 and walked off. "Will I at least see you again?" "Of course silly. Just no for a week or so." 3 left and 4 still stood there. Speechless. He wanted to do something but didn't know what. He shouted, "God? I wished for her to be happy today! Not married!"

Suddenly an idea struck him and he ran off to 3's room. She wasn't there at the moment. So 4 jumped into an empty suitcase and zipped it up. "I'm gunna stop this wedding!" He said to himself.

He felt some one push the bag around and heard 2's voice say, "Man, Numbuh 3, what did you pack?" "Just the necessities." she replied. "It's going to be hard pushing this down the stairs." "Stairs?" 4 thought. "Just push it and let it fall. There's nothing fragile." 3 said. "Okay." and he pushed it. Inside 4 was getting beat up. "Ow." he said when it landed. "You hear something?" "Nope." and 2 continued to push the suit case, and put it into the trunk of 3's car. "I wish numbuh 4 was here." "I'm sure he'll come down and say goodbye." 2 said. "Please make sure he goes to mass on Sunday." "Don't worry. Just enjoy your trip." 5 said. "I'll try." 3 said, and got in the car with her parents. And they drove off, with numbuh 3 waving at the three other operatives.

"I gotta pee." 4 thought crossing his legs, in the suitcase. "I should have gone before I left. Man I'm a ...oops."

**I'm gunna be adding more soon! DibCookie ()**


	3. flight assistant

_**Holy Crap!**_

_**Chapter 3**_

**Hey! This is Chapter 3 already and it's been only two days or something. hey 34lover! I'm a misunderstood KND love lover too! No one will ever understand me! Oh well, i'm over it.**

**DibCookie**

Ok so now 3's in the car with her parents and 4 is in a suitcase in the trunk. Oh ya, he accidently peed. I don't know what the point of that was though.

"Can you tell me who I will be marring?" 3 asked. "Nope. You can't find out untill you get married." her mother said. "What's his name?" 3 asked. "We were never informed of his first name but his last name is Kid." "So i'll be Kuki Kid? I don't like that. I don't want to do this." "Why? Did you already have someone you wanted to marry?" "Well..." "Oh. were here. Why don't you go help your father unload the trunk?" "Okay."

So 3 got out of the car and unloaded some bags with her father. "Eww. This one is sticky." 3 said. "When We get into the airport you can go wash your hands." her father said. So they went into the airport and dropped the bags at the bag drop (obviously) and they were loaded onto the plane. All of them exept the one 4 was on. They wouldn't allow sticky bags in the cargo area.

While 3 was in the bathroom, 4 unzipped the bag and stuck out his head. "P.U. It stickes in there. I'm glad I can finaly breath." He hopped out and zipped the bag again. He snuck past the ticket collector onto the plane. "God please help me!" He shouted. And as he did an assistant came and scooped him up holding him in her hands. "How did you get here?" the lady asked. "could you show me the bathroom?" 4 asked. And the lady took him to the bathroom where he took her unoform and flushed her down the toliet where she was ejected from the plane. 4 tryed on the ladys uniform and it was big, but would have to do. The passengers and 3 were now being seated on the plane. "God, please don't let her notice me!" He shouted to the ceiling. He ran up to the front and took microphone where he said in a feminime voice, "Hello everybody! This is, Wall...Wallicia, and I will be your assistant for your flight today. I'm so excited to serve you! Please remember no smoking while the plane is in motion and if you all die, it's not our fualt. I'll be around with a drink cart for you all so if your thirsty, i'm commin, just hold your horses! Please try to enjoy the flight and I hope we don't crash." He hung the micrephone in its place and pulled out the cart. He sighed and pushed it to the each passenger giving them their drink.

"Um, I'll have a Live Wire Mountain Dew... um, no I take that back, i'll have a Sprite, or no hmm, i just don't know. There both so good." Said a lady passanger infront of 3. "Okay, why don't I just give you both?" 4 said impatiently. "I dunno-" and with that he put the two drinks on her table and went on his way to 3. She was sitting alone looking out the window. "Um, miss?" 4 asked shyly to get her attention. She turnned and smilled at him. He asked, "Uh, would you like something? Soda? Food? A pillow? A blanket? Love?" "What was that last one?" "A blanket?" "Nevermind, I'll just have lemonaid thank you."

So he poured her a good amount of lemonaid in a cup with ice and a lemon wedge and he put it on 3's table.

She frowned.

"What's the matter?" 4 asked. "Oh, nothing." she said sipping her drink. "You can tell me." 4 said sitting in the empty seat next to her. "It's nothing, I just miss my friend. He just became a catholic. I hope he remembers to pray before he goes to bed." "I'm sure he does. I bet he prays for the people he care most bout." 4 said holding 3's hand. he didn't want to let go, but he didn't want 3 to figure out it was him so he let go. "what stinks?" 3 asked sniffing the air. "Um..." "Hey Wallicia! Were getting thirsty over here!" a passenger shouted. "Shut up and just wait!" 4 shouted back. "I'll be back, and we can talk more." 4 said, and got up to move on with his drink cart.

When he was finished he walked into the bathroom and said to the ceiling, "Thanks God. I owe you one. But I still want Kuki to be happy. I believe you can do this! I'll help." He walked out and pushed the cart up to the front in it's original place, and he sat on cart drinking a root beer. He sat there bored until dinner time where he pushed the cart around once more giving the passengers there dinner. In the corner of his eye he saw 3 kneeling on her seat with her hands folded, and her eyes closed. She was motionless and silent. The sun was setting from the window she sat at, making her look like an angle without wings. He didn't notice he was staring at her, but when he looked back at what he was doing the spilled water on the floor rather than in a cup. "Ahh, I'm sorry I'll, Ow." He slipped on it and fell pushing the cart and it smashed into the pilots door making a huge mess with food flying every which way. "Umm... My bad."


	4. Which way to Japan?

_**Holy Crap!**_

**_Chapter 4_**

**Sugar Rush! I'm very hyper when I'm writing this, so there's going to be stupid meaningless crap in this chapter. It's from that giant pizza sized cookie I made last night. And this chapter almost has nothing to do with the title holy crap! Except You probably think that's what this story is. A bunch of crap. We'll get to that crap later. I love that word. Crap. Is crap in the dictionary? I'll have to find out. Later. Now, I must write. **

**DibCookie**

4 dressed as a girl. Big crash. Food every where. Self explanatory.

4 ran to the mess and looked to see if anything survived. Yep. A can of lemonade, and bowl of rice was left mysteriously unspoiled. He took it over to 3 and set it on her table. She opened her eyes and looked over at 4. In one hand he had the can, in the other the bowl and in his mouth two chopsticks. "This is all that survived." 4 said opening the can of lemonade. "That's very nice of you to give this to me." she said. "Don't mention it." he replied. "But right now, I've go a huge mess to clean." "I'll help." 3 said. "Um, thank you but, I can clean it." "I insist." And at that moment the plane jerked and started diving to the sea. "What was that?" 3 asked. "I dunno." The two ran to the big mess. "We've got a little problem. The cart is blocking the door to the pilots seat." 3 said. "Darn you food cart!" 4 said kicking it. He kicked it out of the way, but the pilots door was locked. "Now what?" 4 asked. "We use your butt." she replied. "What?"

"AHHHH! OW! MY BUTT!" They broke in and saw the pilot jumped out the window. Into the ocean. With all the sharks. And deadly fish. He was falling and laughing his head off. "Who would jump out the window like that?" 3 asked. "Simple. An Idiot." "Okay miss flight assistant. Go fly the plane." "What?" "Flight assistants should know how to fly planes. So go on, fly it." "Um..." 4's heart was beating hard for he knew, If he didn't stop the plane they'd all die. not that he cared about those people. He only cared about 3, and himself. "I don't know what I'm doing!" 4 shouted as he pulled back on the control. the plane jerked again and the were flying strait up. "Where's 2 when you need him?" He pushed up on the controls and was flying strait again.

"Okay. Now that that's done, which way is Japan?" "West." "What do you mean west? Are we going west? Which way is west?" Slap! "Snap out of it and calm down." "Where are we going!" 4 yelled jerking the plane left and right. "WERE ALL GUNNA DIE!"4 shouted and moved the plane strait down again. "That helped." "AHHHHHH!" The two of them shouted as they held each other. 4 was enjoying it. "Don't worry I'm a doctor!" A passenger ran in shouting. "Okay, that's cool but were not gunna need a doctor when were dead!" So now the three were screaming and the passengers were screaming, and the weird sasquatch in the back was screaming, and the hobo in the cargo hold was screaming, and the pilot being eaten by sharks was screaming, as the plane dived into the ground and exploded. Wait. Ground? They made it! Only, they exploded. By the power of God, they made it to Japan in only a few hours. Still, they exploded. Yep. They're all dead. Or are they?

"AHHHHH!" 4 continued to scream holding onto 3. "You can be quiet now. Were alive." she said. "Oh, okay. Hey! Were in Japan!" "Yes, were in Japan. We crashed in Tokyo it looks like." "Kuki! Are you alright?" Her parents yelled running to her. "I'm fine." "Ya, I'm fine too."4 said. Her parents picked her up. "I'm so glad your okay. It would be devastating for you to die just before your wedding. Now lets get your luggage and find a hotel." "Ya. I'm fine too! Don't you care 'bout me?" And the family walked off to the cargo hold. "Guess not."

3 opened the cargo hold and a smelly hobo walked out. "Are we in Canada yet?" "Hi mister Hobo man. Your in Japan." "Oh. I wanna ride a moose! Moosey moosey moosey!" he screamed and ran off.

**horray for the crap hobo man! I hope he gets to ride his crap moose. More crap later. Now I must see if crap is in the crap dictionary. See you in the crap next chapter. Crap!**


	5. dressin' up

_**Holy Crap!**_

_**Chapter 5**_

**Hi! Chapter 5! Still alot to come. It's all in my head. My sugar rush is going away. So i'm not as crazy. Time for more rock candy! Yummy! I never did find out if crap was in the dictionary. i'm too lazy to do that school stuff. instead I write these stories with crazy titles. And smelly hobo men. Later.**

Hobo man want to ride a moose, plane crash, 4 still in girls cloths.

"This is the hotel we'll be staying at." 3's mother said. "Looks fancy." 3 said. "Don't you have to get back to America?" "No I've got time. And I need to take a shower. I smell bad." 4 said walking into the hotel. "No kidding." "I was wondering if I could share a room with you? I don't have any cash with me." 4 asked. "Why not?" The parents got a separate room. so it was just the two of 'em.

They walked up to the room and 4 took a shower. When he got out he saw 3 had gone to sleep. He lay next to her, his face red. 3 flipped over and faced 4. She was asleep but grabbed 4 and snuggled with him. Now his face was blood red. She whispered in his ear, "Say your prayers before you go to sleep." And pushed him off the bed.

So he did , "God, I'm gunna stop this wedding. I need your help though, so help me. I hope Kuki was happy today. If not I'm mad. Thank you though for everything you've done so far to help me. I see you want me to stop this stupid wedding.. Thank you." and he fell asleep.

Next morning. 3 wakes up. "Where's miss flight attendant?"

4 woke up earlier and ran to the nearest wedding dress store and asked were the bathroom was so he could steal a guys uniform and stuff him down the toilet. They showed him were to go, and you know what happened next. So now he was waiting for 3 and her family to come.

The walked through the doors, and 4 was there to greet them. "Konichiwa, mates!" he said. "Hi! Are you miss flight attendant?" 3 asked. "I don't know nothin' 'bout planes. I'd probly crash 'em. especially if the crazy pilot jumped out the window and I had to fly over seas to Japan from America. We'd all die." he replied. "So ya here to find a weddin' dress are ya? Who's gettin' married?" "Me!" 3 said. "Oh. Why? You only look 10. Wait. Let me guess, it's a family tradition, and an arranged marriage. See? I'm so smart. S-h-n-e-r-x. Smart." "But that spells-" "Okay, like all unprofessional like me, I'm gunna need your measurements." "Okay, arms, legs, head, neck, stomach, waist, butt. Okay, all done." "Don't you have to measure the bust?" 3's mother asked. "Um, no I, I mean yes, no no I don't , yes I do, no need, yes there is, no no no! Yes yes yes! NO!" "Um, are you alright?" "I'm sorry, i just get like that sometimes when I get a stinky ol' brain fart. Any who, what kinda' dress ya afta? Green? Red? Purple? Orange?" "I was thinking black and white." "Kuki, Kuki, black and white? Are you sure? You look more like a ...oh I dunno, maybe-" "Blue." her mother shouted. "Blue?" "Yes, you heard me, Blue." "How'd you know my name?" "What, Kuki?" "Ya, I've only just met you and you know my name." "Well, um, I'm a part-time stalker." "Oh. That explains it." "You know, blue is for smelly hobo men. I like her idea of black and white." "But you just said-" "Why don't you try this dress on?" 4 said as he randomly picked a dress on a rack behind him. "Changing rooms are back that way." So she left to change in the dress.

"So, would she have a chance ta get hitched to a poor little Australian boy? Any chance at all?" "No." "Oh. What about a poor little Australian-American boy?" "Nope." "Oh. What about Spanish-American gaucho?" "How did you... I mean, mabey." "Aha! I knew it! It's that Spanish freak from the tube-a-thon that was flirting with Kuki! That gaucho jerk idiot freak. I'll show 'em!" "You know him?" "Oh, no, I'm just psychic. yep. And I predict that da wedding will be interrupted by an unwanted visitor. And he'll stop da wedding and get married ta Kuki! Muwha Haha! But that's just a prediction. Hey look a smelly hobo man riding a guy in a moose suit!" "Ya. Scary."

"I'm back but I can't zip the back." 3 said. walking back. "Let me help ya." 4 said. He zipped it up, skimming 3's skin. "Such soft skin." he thought. And A chill went up his spine. "Well, how do I look?" 3 asked. 4's nose started bleeding. "is your nose bleeding?" she asked. "No, I'm not a pervert." he said wiping his nose on his sleeve. "Dad, is your nose bleeding?" "What? No, I'm not a sick freak!" he said wiping his nose on 4's sleeve. "I think.. I think you look... oh what the heck! you look gorgeous! I love you! I mean... it!" "I dunno, it's kinda tight on the bust." "Oh. um, that's a good thing. It... it makes it look... I told ya I'm not a pervert right?" he said holding his nose. "Besides that, I really like it." "See, I told ya I was smart!" 4 turned to the parents again. "So will dat be cash or check?" he asked.


	6. Mister Priest

_**Holy Crap!**_

_**Chapter 6**_

**Weee! I got more reviews! You all rock! I'm sorry for a long wait, but i've been helping my mother ripp of the wall papar from the kitchen, dining room, living room, stair hallway, and the hall way up stairs. Lots of work! Now for a softer not as funny chapter. Kinda' short to i'm sorry to say.**

"Go to church Kuki." her mother said. "Why?" "I want you to go to reconciliation. I want you to be sin free when you get married. It's always been a good omen in our family. So go. Me and your father will be here with the wedding dress guy to look at decorations and stuff." So 3 changed back into her normal cloths and walked off.

"Can ya wait one second? I'll be right back." 4 said and ran to the bathroom. He pulled out a plunger used it to get the real guy out of the toilet. He dragged him over to the parents and stood him up.

"I want you to meet my assistant. He's new here. He's gunna help ya while I go to the store." "But he's naked." "Yes. He is." 4 said and ran out of the store, and followed 3 to the church.

He snuck through the big doors of the church and into the back, were there was a priest. "Mister priest? I'm blind so can you show me the way to the bathroom?" "Of corse little boy right this way." he said and led him to the bathroom. "Your outfit is really soft. can I try it on?" "Sure." He said. and while 4 was changing into the priest outfit, he threw him out the window. "Please forgive me father. This is an emergency!"4 said to him. "May God be with you." he said. "Yes, and may God heal your broken neck." 4 said running off.

"Hello? Father? Are you there?" 3 was asking knocking on the ministry door. "Yes, yes i'm here." he said opening the door. "Father, I'm her for reconciliation." "Well then let's sit down, shall we?" they sat and 3 broke into tears. "What's the matter?" 4 asked. "I'm getting married." "Yes, you should be happy." "No, I shouldn't. I'm getting married to some one I've probably never met or knew existed. My parents are forcing me even though I'm already in love with some one else." "Do your parents know about him?" 4 asked wiping her tears away. "Yes. I talk about him all the time. My parents don't like the way he his though, after I describe him." "Well, I suggest you put all your faith in God. He'll make sure your happy, one way or another. God would only let an evil in the world if something good comes from it." 3 She smiled, and stopped crying. "That's exactly what I told my friend. And for some reason everywhere I go, I see him." "Really? You just miss him that's all." "Ya, that could be it." "Well, I want you to say an Our Father and two Hail Mary's. Your sins are forgiven in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit." "Amen." 3 said and walked off joyfully. "Did I do that?" 4 asked confused.

3 stuck her head through the door and asked, "Mister Priest? I was wondering if you would like to be our priest at my wedding?" he flashed her an evil grin. "It would be an honor." and so she smiled and went on her way.

The reason 4's following 3, I'm sure your wondering, is because he doesn't want to get lost. The last thing anyone like him would want is to get lost in a country where you have no idea where you are or speak the language. That sucks. I know there are no catholic churches in Japan, but you can use your imagination can't you?


	7. the color of memories

_**Holy Crap!**_

_**Chapter 7**_

**I thought i'd start chapter 7 differerntly**

**Me: Hey! Chapta 7 chapta 7! and yes I have been watching way too much Invader Zim!**

**4:The poor girl's goin crazy.**

**Me:Crazy for bacon!**

**4:Ya bacon rocks!**

**Me: Bacon bacon bacon.**

**4: ... alrighty then. Well she doesn't own KND, so don't sue her.**

**Me: Bacon bacon bacon.**

**4: KND would be a _way_ different place if she controlled it.**

**Me: It'd be full of bacon! on wit the story! Ya! Chapta 7!**

"Mr. Priest? Why are you here?"3 asked. "Um... well, funny story. I heard this place was possesed by an evil spirit so I'm, ...um ...purifying it. You know, making it... not evil." 4 said standing in the door way of the wedding store. "Okay. You can take a seat and help us pick out stuff for the big day!" her mother pointed to a chair. He walked over and sat. "So anyway," she began, "This naked guy said potatoes were the ideal food for us to have at the party." 4 rolled his eyes and walked over to him. "What's your favorite food?" "Duhhh Po-ta-toes." "Uhu. Right. And what's your name?" "Blah ha ha! Potatoes!" "Sure. And six plus seven equals?" "Blah cheeeeeesey potatoe!" 4 sighed and turned to the parents. "You got a lotta of work ta do."

"Well, we'll just look through these magazines here." the mother said picking up a magizine. "Ya, and I'll... _try_ to make this guy smarter." 4 said turning to the naked clerk. " Okay, ya name is Booger Snot, and ya live in da magical city of Poop, There It Is." 4 laughed. "Okay, okay. Your girl friend's name is Yuck Yuck and she lives in da magical village of Darn You, Underwear!" he laughed. "Your trying to make him smarter, not stupid!" "I don't think he can get much stupider." "That's mean!" "Don't worry, I don't think he can comprehend what i'm saying anyway." "Never mind, let's just continue." the mother inturupted.

"So we're having a blue wedding correct?" "No mother. We're having a black and white wedding to match my dress." "You mean this wedding dress?" 4 asked holding the dress all ripped up. "My dress!" 3 shouted. "Looks like you don't have a dress. So now you have to cancle the wedding. Darn it. I was so exited too." 4 said sacasticly. "Well we _are_ in the wedding store still." "Oh. Forgot 'bout dat."

"Mother," 3 started to say with a sad face, "I would like to have a green and orenge wedding." 4 froze. "Why green and orenge?" she asked. "Because, my friend in America used to wear orenge alot. It'll remind me of him and me together." she said looking away. She got up and looked at the different colored dresses on the racks. The others just watched. "You must have realy liked this guy." her mother said. She ignored her and pulled out a dress. "I like this one." she said quietly, and silently fell on her knees crying. "What's the matter?" 4 and the mother asked running up to 3 to comfort her. At first she didn't answer. She just shut her eyes and cryed. Then shouted, "I'm in love with Wallabe Beetles! Not Some kid who's last name is Kid, that I don't even know! I know Wally, and I know he would want me to do what makes me happy! And this isn't making me happy!" again, 4 froze, and felt like he was gunna faint. "Y-you love me? I mean, him?" he asked. "Yes, I do." she said lowering her head and cryed again. He looked up at the mother who looked furious. "How can you be in love with that idiot Australian!" she said. "you always say he's mean to you, and isn't to bright." "He is, but at other times he's so sweet, and nice, and knows just what to say." she managed to choke out while tears flooded her eyes. 4 looked like he was going to join in on the crying, but pushed the feeling away. "Your getting married to Mr.Kid, and that's final!" her mother shouted. 3 calmed down alittle after 4 gave her a hug but still asked, "Can I have my wedding in green and orenge, mother?" she sighed and answered, "If it'll make you feel better."


	8. up coming stories i might write

**Hey every one! I felt like putting this in so here I am!**

**God God's brain Cow milk cookies I don't go hungry I live I die**

**Hey I gotts tons of ideas for fic.s but I cant remember them!**

**When I do I see if I can post 'em!**

**Oh! I remember them now! Nope never mind. False alarm.**

**Wait! Yes I remember them. One is called**

**Razor Boy**

**it's not a comedy but there are little bits here and there.**

**it's more of an action/drama/romance**

**It'll have to do with the song Razor Boy**

**and other random lyrics from my favorite band**

**Steely Dan!**

**summary: Razor boys the name, thievery is the game. **

**But when 3 find s out that 4 is Razor Boy she gets angry and joins forces with his enemies to steal something from him to teach him a lesson. **

**When 4 finds out, he's got to steal one last thing to fix everything he's done. **

**Rated K+ or T (not sure yet)**

**yep. I already have about 3 chapters finished.**

**and if it turns out good I'll try ta post it in a new story.**

**another story is called **

**Three Weight Once Pure Golden Ring No Precious Stone**

**summary: before and after decommissioning. One ring that a homeless teen and his brother owns might brings back the memories of the team after decommissioning.**

**This is one of my not-yet-famous first person stories **

**with each operatives side of the story.**

**I've completely finished it and it's only 6 chapters long.**

**and this story is based off of a song by Steely Dan called Charlie Freak**

**yet another idea is a story called **

**When history repeats**

**summary: Numbuh 4 finds a strange sword and shows the team, but they get sucked back in time.**

**Now they have to repeat Greek mythology to find the way to get back to their regular time.**

**they play the parts of:**

**1-Zeus**

**2-Poseidon**

**3-Andromeda**

**4-Pursues**

**5-Athena**

**another is a story I wrote when I was 3 or 4 years younger**

**and KND just got started.**

**It's called Christmas Wish**

**and it's another one shot 1st. person love story, only from 4's point of view.**

**I'm gunna change it a little bit because I lost the original story.**

**It was in my laptop.**

**Now its not.**

**But I remember the gist of it.**

**After I finish Holy Crap I'm gunna try to post these stories.**

**thank you for all your reviews**

**and your all being really awesome.**

**I love you all!**

**... I have no idea why I just gave out all my ideas**

**but I don't care! WHOO!**


	9. wise words from the hobo

_**Holy Crap!**_

_**Chapter 8**_

**Be Bop A-Lula! Chapter 8! And I'm sorry if my rambling on about future stories bugged the crap out of ya all. I just feel like I wanted to tell some one. I like to ramble allot. Can't ya tell?**

"Orange roses? How do you do that?" "You put a white rose in water with orange food coloring in it. Duh! Like this." 3 said, putting a rose in a vase. "... it's still white." "It takes awhile." "Okay anyway, the cake will be?" "I've already told you mother, green and orange. Everything will be those two colors." the mother sighed a scribbled something on her notebook. "We'd better hurry up. It's getting late." "So? We've got tomorrow too, right?" 4 asked. "Wrong. Tomorrow is the wedding." "WHAT!" the two kids shouted. "All we have left is to find a priest." "I'll take the case!" 4 shouted. "Okay. We got our priest. Now we are done. Kuki, were going back to the hotel. Syanora, Father." she said and bowed respectfully to 4. "Um... ya. I'll see ya later." 4 said waving as they left the building, caring the orange roses. One dropped as they walked out, and 4 picked it up. He looked at the flower than back at the store. Then to the naked clerk who was now running around in a fluffy, pink, dress shouting, "Potato salad!" 4 laughed and shut off the lights to the store and walked back to the church as he heard the cross-dressed clerk shout, "Who shot the Sun? Hey! Hey! Moo! Quack! Sun! Pee!"

He sat on the stoop of the church staring at the rose. Then the hobo man cam running and fell out of the sky next to him. "What's your damage, eh?" he asked. 4 just ignored him. "Riiiiiight. It's the rose, eh. Want me ta kill it?" He looked up at the hobo and sighed, looking back down at the rose. "No, don't kill it. It's the last thing reminding me of how much Kuki loves me." "Are you sure, eh? Cus' I got a hammer in-" "No. It's alright. We want it to live." "Oh. Riiiiiiight. Than what's the matter, eh?" "I wish God would listen to my prayers." "That all?" "Well, yes. I keep praying for this girl to be happy but she's only miserable!" "You don't see it, eh." "You know what? I ain't sitting here listening to a hobo preaching to me. What does a hobo know?" 4 said and walked into the church dropping the rose. After a couple seconds of silence, the hobo guy smashed the rose, and walked into the church. 4 lay on a pew, trying to get some sleep. "Sleep is no good for Mr. Priestly man person, eh! Ya must pray!" the hobo shouted in 4's ear. "I've tried that!" he snapped back. "Well poopy doodoo for you! Try again!" 4 shot a dirty look at the man and sat up. He walked past the hobo and to the front of the altar. He knelt down and shot another dirty look at the man. Then turned back, and shouted at the top of his puny, little, air-filled, lungs, "God! Nice ta talk to ya again! Ya, I have a request! Yep! Another one! Since you didn't answer my last few! I want to destroy the wedding! Yes! Completely destroy it! But the twist is to keep Kuki happy! I hope you know which Kuki! Ya! Kuki Sanban? You know! Ya, I want her to be happy, but not be married! Ya, Happy Happy, with a smile? You know! Okay! Well, ... see ya!" "Amen." "Ya. Amen." 4 walked back to his pew and lay down. "There. Ya happy now?" he asked. "Ya ya ya ya ya!" "Good. Now leave." "Moo like a mongoose! SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" the hobo shouted as he ran out the door of the church. But as the hobo left, a familiar some one walked in.


	10. the big day gone bad

_**Holy Crap!**_

_**Chapter 9**_

**Take a seat, and listen good. I don't own KND. I never have and never will. But I do own the hobo. He's my hobo! Go get your own!**

"Father, I've been told that you will be at my wedding." the kid said as he walked in. "I want you to give me this paper when time comes to recite the vows." he said handing 4 a paper. 4 grinned as he saw the paper. "You cant memorize your own vows?" "No, I'm afraid not. Bad memory." the kid handed 4 the paper and walked to the front of the alter where he kneeled folded his hands, and bowed his head. "You wouldn't possibly be the fiance of the cute little 10 year old Japanese girl now would ya?" 4 asked. He ignored him. He blessed himself and walked out the door saying, "Just about everyone in Japan is Japanese, idiot."

Next day. The big day. The music plays and 3 walks down the isle. She stands next to her husband and looks around. "Where's the priest?" she asked her dad, next to her. The front church door slams open and everyone turns.

"Ya, i-i-i'm real s-sorry I'm just a wee late for da... da... why are we here again? I'm sorry, I-I had a wee little waaaaaaaay tooooooo much ta drink last night. Yaaaaa. I still got some if ye want it." "But that's grape juice in a bottle." "Ya. It is ain't it? Ya see? That's how drunk I am. I can't even tell I'm drinkin'! Blahahahahah! Hehehehehehaaaaaaaaaaaa!" this caused chatter amoung the people attending as the "drunk" preist walked up the isle dizzily. He pulled off the bible from the altar and opened it. "Pee and poo, tea for two, wit a little side a chacolete! Oh, sorry wrong page. Ha ha ha. Myyyy bad. Okay okay, I gotts the real thingy. Uhum, And today, this day, not yesteryear, or or or, pie! Stop spinning! Darn you all! Blah! Today, we gather to wed these two, hehe, these two, hahaha, two... pe-o-ple. Now they will extange vows." the priest pulled out the paper and handed it to the kid. he cleared his throat smiled at 3 and read, "Cheese, milk, bread, shaving cream, laxitives, ... um this is a shopping list." "Hahaha! That's were I put that darnedest thing! I couldn't find joy, or love, or a life at the store. So don't try lookin there. Anypoo, you all who disagree with this here marriage, well, ya better say your mind now so I can knock your teeth out or or or say, 'Hey you! sit down and and shut the heck up!' hahaha! Or never say anything again about these two who, 'love' each other. Any buyers? huh? any one? No one? Oh, come on! There's plenty to say!" and at that moment, he jumped out of his drunk act and became serious.

"There's plenty ta say! Ya! You see these two kids up here? Your forcing these two to wed each other. Is that right? They could already be in love with some one else! Like, maybe I'm in love with the bride!"he shouted to the audience. Everyone gasped as they heard this. He turned to bride and scooped her up into his arms. "Ya, that's right! I'm in love wit the bride! And ain't none of ya gunna stop me from marring 'er! Muhahaha!" he laughed evilly and ran down the isle and out the door.

The people at the wedding agreed to form an angry mob and try to get the bride back.

3 kicked and screamed in 4's arms but he kept up the act until he brought her to an airport. "Let go of me you freak!" she yelled. "Calm down, numbuh 3. I'm bustin ya out of your tradition. Ya should be thankin me!" He dropped her and she just looked at him, stunned. "Mr. Preist?" "Mr. Preist? Nah. It's me! Numbuh 4!" he looked back and saw the angry mob running after them. "I'll explain lateh!" 4 said, and grabbed 3's hand and ran onto a plane, just before it took off. The two sat down in seats and gave a huge sigh of relief. "You know, my mom can always come back and take me back to Japan." but as 3 was saying so, a voice came over the loud speaker and said, "Um... we're kinda... under attack, so buckle your seat belts, and... don't smoke!" the speaker turned off and everyone looked out the window. They saw the angry mob from the wedding hijacked a plane and tied up the pilot. And they were trying to shoot down the plane with missiles. When the two saw, they ran to the pilots room and saw the pilot, screaming like a girl and pulling his hair out. The two just looked at each other and tossed the pilot out the window and he smashed into the other planes wind shield. "Hey angry mob! What's up?" "Turn on the wipers!" "It won't come off!" "I think you need to spray a little water." "Ya. There we go."


End file.
